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MessaggioInviato: Sab Ott 16, 2021 6:12 am  Rispondi citando

Registrato: 02/10/21 13:08
Messaggi: 9

Health and money
The silver wedding is long over, the children are adults and grandchildren are already rather big, and their own marriage is becoming more and more tense. It would seem that nothing can break the relationship that has developed over the years, but coldness, irritation at each other, attacks of mutual hostility are increasing.

Deterioration of health. Against the background of chronic diseases, intemperance, irritability, categoricality develop.

Reduction of the material level. According to statistics, only 20% of elderly families in our country are relatively financially prosperous. But, even if the spouses managed to save for old age, for most couples these are not bottomless reserves, money may be needed at any time for treatment, emergency repairs of an apartment or car. Constant restrictions encourage you to change your usual lifestyle (spending on rest, clothing, food is reduced), which often contributes to conflicts between spouses, increases hostility and alienation.

Who is to blame
However, subjective factors also play an important role in the relationship of spouses. Hostility, alienation do not arise suddenly, they are drawn from the past. Perhaps the origins are in a long-standing grudge, for example, treason, which is formally forgiven, but has stuck in the memory like a bursting splinter that reminds of itself from time to time.

Or maybe, even in their youth, the spouses did not form unity: their life attitudes and aspirations turned out to be multidirectional, but the couple did not dare to divorce.

It also happens that the relationship of an elderly couple worsens after retirement. The male self reacts more acutely to a change in status: leaving work sharply reduces self-esteem, many men do not know what to do with themselves, which increases the level of anxiety. Sometimes it comes to neurosis and even depression. The husband is increasingly beginning to notice some shortcomings at home that he did not pay attention to before, reproaches his wife that she pays too much attention to children and grandchildren, forgetting about him.

For a woman, the transition to everyday life is not so dramatic, but she also regards insufficient attention from her husband and relatives as painful. In general, there are many reasons for the "ice period" of relationships, and they are different in each family.

It is pointless to find out who is to blame for this – he or she. Two people are always responsible for the weather in the family.

Outside help
At the third age, divorce is an extreme measure, which, fortunately, few people decide on. But how to find a way out of a difficult situation?

The most effective way to overcome alienation is to contact a psychological assistance center (by the way, many of them work for free) and, together with a specialist, sort out the problems that have arisen, learn how to analyze and solve them, as they say, as they arrive.

It is also a good idea to master the relaxation and auto-training techniques. It is available at any age and helps to improve not only psychological, but also physical well-being.

Seven Steps to Reconciliation
To change their relationship, to find more points of rapprochement will help and steps towards each other.

1. Get away from the conflict. Do you feel that thunder is about to break out? Find an excuse to avoid a quarrel. For example, you can urgently go to the store, "accidentally" remembering that you desperately need to buy something for the table.

2. Try to treat the emerging troubles with humor – this is the best way to defuse the situation and relieve tension.

3. Discuss the problems that have arisen together: let everyone express their opinion on the situation – the way out can be found only together. At the same time, do not blame the partner: "You promised, but you did not ...", but use phrases like "I wanted, I hoped ..." This technique will help to extinguish the irritation of the spouse and tune in to a constructive conversation.

4. Plan together the family budget for a week, for a month, decide on what and how much you can save and what these funds will be spent on.

5. Try to overcome the monotony of everyday life – this is a big problem for many elderly couples. At least once a week, it's worth getting out of the house and spending time together. Do not ignore excursions and evenings, which, by the way, are often held by social service centers. By the way, often many couples get to know others there and a new friendship begins with families.

6. Make plans for the future. You can plan a vacation in a sanatorium or boarding house, start changes in the house, in the country. Nothing brings us closer together than common tasks and interests.
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MessaggioInviato: Sab Ott 16, 2021 10:56 am  Rispondi citando

Registrato: 02/10/21 05:18
Messaggi: 8

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